spotting

I am spotting. I am totally freaking out. My heart is down to my knees. I had tiny tiny tiny red spot last night when wiping, then nothing during the day..a bit crampy too last night but that disappeared during the day as well so I thought it just might be ok but now it is brown and there spots obviously in my undies (sorry tmi). I am crawling out of my skin and don't know what to do. Hubby is not home either. I am sick with worry. Still got very sore boobs, but a bit crampy again this evening. Dead scared. I am pushing and pushing these thoughts away but it is hard when the cramps are there.
It feels like I will die if this is true. I can't cope more. Please, stay stay, I do anything to keep you. I feel I just want to lie down a cry and kick and scream, terrified of what feeling that might pop up if this is true.
I wonder what the clinic can do if I call them in the morning, maybe another bt and maybe a scan. I don't know. It feels cruel to go through this if this is it this is for nothing. I just don't want to believe it, my card told me this would be true. I am clinging on to that.
Smulan, little champ, stay strong for mummy....